healing, Relationships

Broken Hallelujah

There is something so beautiful when brokenness meets praise. Where there is nothing left to hold onto, other than a broken hallelujah. 

 

“The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”

Psalms 51:17 NLT

 

I was broken-hearted. I was tired of doing things my way and never experiencing true healing, because I thought I could cover my hurt with alcohol, men, partying. Anything to keep me distracted of the pain I was feeling in my heart.

This time – I finally decided I would give God a true and honest chance. I was willing to hurt, but, open to the idea of being healed…

I finally let go of what I thought I knew about God and church and I allowed myself to learn and grow in Him and His truth.

Learning the power of worship, brought true healing and strengthened my foundation.

 

At first, to be quite honest, I didn’t know the “music” I heard at church was actually worship. All I knew was that there was something going on in my heart and I was drawn to it.

 

A Responsive Heart

 

I wanted to play the same songs that I was hearing in church. I wanted the same goose-bump feelings, I felt as these songs played at the beginning of the service.

I wanted that same peace I felt when this broken girl was at church. I felt comforted. I felt new. I felt something I couldn’t put into words unless you felt it yourself.

 

There was a time I was talking to my sister Sheri about church. Sheri was the sister in whom I saw her life change for the better, because she was going to church…

During one of our conversations about church, she was simply explaining what worship was. She told me that – “worship is what we offer unto the Lord before He speaks to us. We give our hearts to God in Praise and it prepares us for what God will speak to us through the service.”

Simply put – Worship postures our hearts for the rest of the service.

Woah!

This was something I was so unaware of – BUT, when I heard it, it was as if my heart said yes and amen. 

When we tap into the presence of God, there is a part of our soul that is awakened.

That was exactly what I was experiencing…

My life wasn’t the same after that!

My source of joy, peace and the desire to love and forgive all came from Him. I began to live from Him.

 

 

I will sing to the Lord as long as I live. I will praise my God to my last breath.

Psalms 104:33 NLT

 

I remember going on YouTube and searching for the songs I was listening to at church. The songs that were on repeat at that time were songs like ‘Savior King’ and ‘Mighty to Save’ by Hillsong.  Lyrics, that penetrated right into my heart such as…

 “We love you Lord, we worship you

You are our God, you alone are good

You asked your Son to carry this

The heavy cross, our weight of sin”

~ Saviour King 

 

“So take me as You find me

All my fears and failures

And fill my life again

I give my life to follow

Everything I believe in

And now I surrender

(I surrender)”

~ Mighty To Save

 

Revelation was taking place. I was hearing these songs about worshiping someone whom I had heard of, but hadn’t actually understood the depth of who He REALLY is — JESUS — The one whom had saved me from myself. The Savior of the world. I wanted to surrender my life to Him…

 

 

I was able to let go of reason. I let go of logic and I engaged in a supernatural experience. Where I became fully aware of the presence of God. 

I allowed my heart to align with His Spirt. Something happened and there is no other answer other than – power released through worship. The power that releases through a heart dedicated to obedience to God. A heart after Gods heart.

 

From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a refuge for me. A tower of strength against the enemy. Let me dwell in Your tent forever; Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings. Selah. 

Psalms 61:2-4 NASB

 

Once I understood that worship is what I was offering unto the Lord, I began to hear the services in a different way.

I began to grow spiritually. God put people in my life who would take time to teach me about the Bible. And, one of those people would later on become my husband. He would not only teach me about the Bible, but I actually saw him live out what he spoke.

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My husband is a worshipper! I saw him unashamedly fall on his knees in reverence to God!

Learning to worship God was the beginning:

  • I’ve learnt to forgive myself.
  • I’ve learnt to forgive others.
  • I’ve learnt to wait.
  • I’ve learnt to trust Him.
  • I’ve been comforted.
  • I’ve experienced healing in my mind and body.

Learning to worship isn’t something that happens and stays. I’ve had to push through, and fight my flesh.

I’ve had to force my hands up. I have had to offer praises that were a sacrifice of faith. Believing that God would be faithful and meet me – right where I was.

 

The other thing I feel important to mention is, through all my seasons of life – I have learnt  to stay at the feet of Jesus. Meaning, regardless of what is going on in my life (marriage, family, financial, physical issues) I don’t allow myself to withdraw from the presence of God. You will find me at the front – worshipping with praise or pain.

I believe with ALL my heart, it is where my true and purest source of power, and strength is drawn from. I constantly must drink from the well of living water.

 

My prayer is, if you haven’t experienced the presence of God, that you will go deeper with Him. Starting with how you worship at church and at home. Don’t allow circumstances to dictate how you will offer your praises. Let your praises be offered in a fully surrendered heart. I promise – YOU – WON’T – regret it. He WILL draw close to you.

 

Rest in Him friend,

With Love,

Rosie Hernandez

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Relationships

Dear Mama,

Almost 40 years old and here I am, married with 4 children. Mothers Day is quickly approaching.

I was thinking about my teenage years and how thankful I am, that I have a mom who was a mother of prayer. Words my mom spoke to me as a young girl began to flood my mind. There were times I kept my mom up late as she was praying that I would make it home safe and alive. I wasn’t a very good student. In fact, I was really bad. Now that I’m older, I can still hear the words of my mom telling me I’m gonna regret it. “Do better in school. Stay the course. Don’t do what I did,  I regret it!” Oh, how she was right! 

As a teenager, identity crisis is something you face. Trying to fit in. We find ourselves in a circle of bad influences. We battle with the struggle of gaining approval. Faced with making right and wrong choices and how we appear to our peers. 

I always felt, as if my mom didn’t really understand me. She was mom. She wasn’t a teenager. She didn’t know what it was like to be my age. Well, that’s how I felt! 

 

My daughter is 13 years old and isn’t half as wild as I was at this age. All thanks to Jesus! Even with Jesus a huge part of her life, I see the struggle of the teenage girl. I recognize the looks my daughter gives me, as I’m certain she’s thinking I have no clue as to what it feels like to be her age. 

It’s like I’m looking at myself as a young girl. Only this time, I’m on the other end. 

So what do I do? I get ready for battle! I’ll do what I know my mom did — I’ll go into battle in my ‘War Room’. I’ll stand strong and tall on my knees. My children’s future is at stake here! And in this war, I’m NOT alone. 

We spend a lot of time messing up and even more time regretting what we’ve done instead of spending time allowing God to restore what has been done and making all things NEW.

I need to let my mom know how thankful I am, for ALL she has done. Her words still linger in my head as I’m now in her position. Facing the challenges of motherhood. So I decided to write a tribute to my mama. My Lady. My queen… B213F610-5C46-4524-A18D-7E1493A4A68D

Dear Mama, 

I took a long hard look at my family, and thought about how grateful I am to have YOU as my mom. With kids in all stages of life, I sometimes feel like I’m stretched in all areas. I’m trying to figure out how to deal with each one. Do you know what I mean?! Of course you do! You’ve done it 9 times, and even now you’re a HUGE part of growth in your grandchildren’s lives. How do you do it? I’m still trying to wrap my head around it… how do you raise 9 kids and then continue to help raise more.

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I mean, who has the time, strength and desire to do that?! But here you are, so willing to do it with joy and pleasure. 

Mom, I haven’t been the best daughter to you! I’ve taken you for granted. I’ve dishonored you. I’ve misjudged you. I haven’t always shown you the love you deserve. 

I know that somethings I did as a kid have scarred you. Yet, you have never held things against me. You have ALWAYS been there for me! You have the most forgiving heart I know. 

Though I have caused you hurt and pain, here we are, with the best relationship we’ve EVER had! All thanks to Jesus! 

You often told us as kids how much you’ve missed your mom. With the pain you experienced through your loss, all you’ve ever wanted was for us to not have to feel the same. So you’ve tried and tried your best. Thank you for that mom! Thank you for your kind heart. You have been the love and patience in our family. You have taught us to be at peace with one another. Staying upset with each other has never been an option for you. 

As I continually build my relationship with Christ and I learn more about Him and His love for us, I’m reminded of how you carry the gift of peace. Regardless of the pain others have caused you, you have loved unconditionally. 

I’m now a wife and mother and sometimes I feel like I just need my mom. I’ll never forget my wedding day as we danced and you told me to love my husband and be a good mom. You have encouraged me to let go of my stubbornness. 

Thank you for all you’ve imparted in me through your example and words. Thank you for your help! Thank you for your patience! Thank you for being YOU!!! I can’t change our  past, but I can work on our future. I will spend my days loving you and cherishing you! Processed with VSCO with ke1 preset I love you to the moon and back! I’ll spend my days praying over your life as you’ve done for mine. Thankful for our God who restores and heals. Thankful for you mom! I cherish you! Happy Mothers Day! 

Love Rosalie

 

 

 

Rest in Him,

With Love,

Rosie Hernandez