My husband and I recently made a huge change in ministry, that was prayerfully made. We sought counsel, and got confirmation that this was right. Sunday morning came, and we were excited and nervous to be a part of a new church. We were in a time to be refreshed. This was gonna be great. Brighter days were ahead of us.

About 2 weeks after, I found myself in a bit of a funk, spiritually. I believe God wanted me to trust Him, and be still. But, instead of being still, I was questioning myself, because I was no longer “busy” doing Kingdom Business.

9 years ago when I made a decision to take my walk with God seriously, I immediately started serving. I wanted to have accountability. I did not take it lightly. I was always doing something. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to.

Here I am, at this awesome new church. Im excited to be around new and loving people. New friendships are being built. This is awesome! But here I was, allowing mixed emotions to get me in this spiritual funk. What was my problem?! I quickly realized, that because I wasn’t doing anything in the church at the moment, I allowed myself to somehow feel “useless”.

What was wrong with me?! Did I really think God, was done with me? You would think so, by the lies I was feeding into. These were lies. They were ugly, tormenting lies! Was this the first time I had experienced battles of the mind? Of course not. The difference this time, I was entertaining the thoughts.


“Many people are suffering— crushed by the weight of their troubles. But the Lord is a refuge for them, a safe place they can run to.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭9:9‬ ‭ERV‬‬

I’m so glad to have a God who is, ever so present. Who stays close to us, even when we find ourselves in a mess. Who is a faithful friend! I have Him to run to, as my safe place.

Can we agree that change is uncomfortable? Huge changes in our life can cause confusion. It can cause us to question many things. In some cases, it causes us to question Gods character.

I knew I was allowing my emotions to get the best of me. So what did I do – I put on worship music.

“He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭40:3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

As I was listening to the song Wonder by Hillsong. The word wonder, kept calling out to me. I looked up the definition. To my amazement, I found this…

1) to think or speculate curiously
2) to be filled with admiration, amazement, or awe; marvel

In my observance, I realize they’re completely different, yet both are profound in learning and growing, leading to a deeper relationship with our astounding God. Allow me to explain:

On one side we can find ourselves questioning (I wonder why God is allowing this to happen). The other, is a moment of revelation (God is so good. He’s faithful, He always provides, etc.) We often find ourselves either questioning Gods goodness or we are in awe of His goodness.

The beauty of wonder, is that whichever side of it you find yourself – God is there.


The lyrics to Hillsong, Wonder read:
“You’re the wonder in the wild
Turning wilderness to wonder”

When we read about the Israelites in the wilderness – we read, all about the murmurs that were coming from a people who had just experienced God miraculously delivering them from Pharaoh. As Pharaoh, chased them down to a place where they had no where to turn. God, split the seas in two and gave them dry land to walk on. I can only imagine the sight of this, as they walked through, they can see the fish that were swimming in the ocean. The sea life on both sides and no harm has come to them. They made it safely to the other side.

God is preparing them, to enter the Promise Land. Yet, here they are asking God why He’s allowed them to be in the desert, where it’s dry and there is no food or water in sight. Why would a God, who protected them from the enemy – who wanted to kill them, place them in the middle of nowhere?!? Imagine ALL the questions and doubts that would run through the mind.

It took them 40 years of circling this “dry” place. Murmuring that continued, day after day, and night, after night…

Wow! I can relate. That was me! After experiencing Gods faithfulness over and over again, here I was asking myself questions. When I knew God remains faithful.

I was about to experience Gods wonder in the midst of my wilderness…


When I reviewed the definition, the Holy Spirit, revealed some things to me. There were prayers being answered that I had been praying about, for a while…

My husband and I love fellowship, and we know how important discipleship in church is. So, hanging out and pouring ourselves into people was a given. Only thing, is that my husband was always pouring himself into others – yet, he didn’t always have someone that could pour into him. And, here we are in this new place. He’s connecting. Great men of God are just loving on him. The Holy Spirit was saying; take a look at what’s happening. These are your prayers being answered.

I was in a great place, that I knew deep inside my heart – God had placed us there. And because I wasn’t “busy” serving God – I felt out of place. It made me question if things that had been spoken over our lives were really from God. We knew that moving forward, we NEEDED a time of refreshment. A time for healing. A time to allow God to speak over our lives through others. What I did was allow the enemy lies to become louder than Gods truth. My heart was wandering.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

As I allowed the Holy Spirit to reveal these things to me, I knew God was dealing with me. I couldn’t see past my emotions. But, if I trust Him, I’ll be able to see the bigger picture

I had to take a step back to see what God was already doing. Friendships were progressing. Our hearts are being stirred with new visions – for us and for our children as well! We are now seeing their vision and are becoming a part of it.

Last month my church had a series on Excavate – to dig deeper. I had to dig deeper into this love that God has for me. His unconditional love – the love that doesn’t need me to be busy all the time, to earn it.

Deep in my spirit, I knew my works can’t make God love me more, but my attitude towards Him, sure gave off that impression.

If you are in that place that finds you questioning Gods goodness and love for you. I wanna remind you, that Gods word remains true. He will NOT leave us or forsake us. Jesus is longing to bring you true peace. A peace that only He can bring. In our messiest, ugliest situations, God loves to display His faithfulness, and wonder in our lives. What a beautiful thought that is! When we feel that we are at the end of our rope, God displays His beauty in miraculous ways.

We can look at ALL that’s happening around, and see that God is still GOOD! He is able. He is still faithful. He is still there!!! Working ALL things for our GOOD!

There are so many dimensions to Gods love! I’ve been serving Him for 9 years, and each year throughout, I continue to learn more about God, and all His glory. All is goodness. All of His ways. It never gets old!



Though I have experienced Gods FEIRCE LOVE I still experienced a distance between us due to change in my life. But, Gods love is never changing. Gods love will continue to remain constant. God’s love will continue to pursue me in all my changes of life. His love is there – not only for me, but it is also there for you as well!

Praying you experience the wonder of God!


Rest in Him friend,

With love,

Rosie Hernandez





The word shame makes me cringe. It does so, because I know how detrimental that feeling can be. It leaves a person paralyzed in fear, feeling empty and hopeless. I know all to well, the damage that feeling can cause in a persons life. I’ve been there.

There are 2 different reasons people (women in particular) experience shame. I would like to shed some light to these areas, for the sake of healing.


  • Things we may have done in the past.

I wanna be clear; nothing we do, or have done, can cause God to look at us with contempt. As long as we are waiting upon the Lords return, we are given the gift of forgiveness. Not only do we receive forgiveness but, we can be transformed in our minds. Then, it goes another step further – to be transformed in our life all together. God takes our mess and He makes something beautiful out of it, if we allow Him to. He will keep us standing strong on Him (our Rock and Salvation).

“He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭40:2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

It is important to be aware, that we have an enemy of our souls. His job is to get us off course and keep us off track. He is a liar and a manipulator. He would love to see us down at our lowest and keep us there.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” ‭‭John‬ ‭10:10‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Jesus comes to give us life and to live an abundant life through Him and His truth. Satan on the other hand whispers lies and condemnation. He wants to steal our future that God has laid out before us. What we need to understand, is the only weapon, the enemy uses against us, are LIES!!! He is the father of lies. [John 8:44] There is NO truth in what he speaks. But, Jesus is the WAY, the TRUTH and the LIFE. [John 14:6]

Friend, we must learn to discern what whispers are coming into our mind. Learning to grasp Gods truth in our hearts can only come with spending time with our Father. It’s where we find truth. It’s where we find healing. It’s where we begin to find our purpose.
God sees our value! He is looking at us towards the future because, He alone knows what we are capable of before we could even imagine the possibilities in our life.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah‬ ‭1:5‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Don’t let the shame of your past keep you in a place of darkness. God desires that we come to His glorious light. That we be found in Him.


  • Unfortunate things have happened in your life that you had no control over. Things, that are to shameful to think about so you keep it bottled inside and it effects many areas of your life and how you see yourself.

First off I wanna say, it’s not your fault! No matter how much the enemy tries to throw lies at you saying that “it’s your fault; you put yourself in that situation, and/or you deserved it because of who you are or were”. I wanna remind you that our Creator sees you as the precious gem you are! You have been hand picked by God and He is wild about you!
I have experienced shame in both areas of my life. I’ve felt shame because of the things I’ve done. I’ve also felt shame, because of things, done to me. I can tell you confidently that healing can come, if we truly seek it! IMG_8773

“Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.” ‭Psalm‬ ‭27:14‬ ‭AMP

“From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety,” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭61:2‬ ‭NLT

“I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles.” Psalms‬ ‭34:4-6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

In my early and young Christian days I was told by a great mentor to read Psalms. Many of the Psalms are laments. But, each cry or fear ended with giving God praise and thanking Him for being our refuge and our strong tower.

Friend, I wanna encourage you to find someone who you trust. A leader, a Pastor, or a minister who will pray with you and for you! It is important that you surround yourself with safe people who genuinely care for your healing.
If you don’t know who you can trust – then, I encourage you to seek counseling. Seek a counselor who lives and practices by the word of God. If you don’t know where to find counselors let me invite you to click here and search for the help you need.


I have learned in this journey of healing, to give God praise even when it hurts. I spoke healing over my heavy heart, even when I didn’t see it. It took FAITH! Another thing I have learned through this has been forgiveness. Forgivenesses towards myself and for the perpetrator.

If I could be honest, forgiveness has been the most challenging part of my journey, yet, thee most rewarding! I had to learn to give up the right to be angry, to hold onto unforgiveness.
God desires that we offer forgiveness just as He has freely forgiven us and given us the gift of His Son Jesus. This was certainly NOT easy. But each day I had to take a step of faith and trust God through my journey.

Let me encourage you friend, if you are dealing with shame, first of all; find healing in Jesus. Remember, that this will require a step of faith on your part. It’s a day to day process. Second; let forgiveness fill your heart. Forgive yourself and/or the other person(s). You have the right to be set free from condemnation, guilt and fear. And, from feeling responsible for what has happened to you.
Remember, that when Jesus took up the cross – He took up our shame, and every weight that would try to hold us down. Receive your healing today in the name of JESUS!
Praying for your healing! May today be the start to a road of recovery. Hang that shame on the cross. ✝️

Rest in Him friend,

With Love,

Rosie Hernandez