forgiveness

An Open Heart

Marriage is a sweet blessing from God. Like anything worth holding onto, it will require work to some degree. The amount of work and heart you put in, and how you seek direction and heavenly wisdom, will determine the outcome and it’s fruitfulness. We will experience different seasons of life, It’s inevitable. As the years continue in my marriage, I’m finding that Gods beckoning to emulate His Son, has become much stronger in my life.

 

CONFLICT AND SOLUTION 

My husband can easily forgive. I, on the other hand, have a harder time forgetting issues that have caused hurt and pain. I can honestly say that I’ve said sorry more in my marriage, than I ever have in my lifetime. However, I had past hurts and pains before I invited Christ into my life. I lived a life using those hurts as a shield, in allowing someone else to come in and cause more hurt and pain. And since I wasn’t careful in guarding my heart in my marriage, I began to allow those “cautions” to creep inside my heart and create a wedge between my husband and I.

Even though I learnt to say sorry, It didn’t stop issues from occurring in our marriage. Conversations get heated, words are exchanged and once again, the words I’m sorry  were repeated. In some cases, I allowed myself to feel justified in being upset long after those issues should have been resolved. The more I allowed myself to feel justified for the hurt and pain, I was suppressing unforgiveness.

I was so consumed in my justification to be “bothered”, I allowed the enemy to manipulate every action and thought. Even though I knew I had learnt to say sorry, I began to get tired of saying it. Without notice, my desire to say sorry began to reduce. Apologizing is no big deal for my husband. In fact, he’ll say it, even if it’s not his fault; just to avoid conflict. Though I knew this graciousness about him, I was troubled because I didn’t want him to say sorry without understanding why he said it. I wanted to talk about why the sorry had to be said. I needed him to understand me!

“Above all, be careful what you think because your thoughts control your life.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ 4:23‬‭ ERV‬‬

 

THE NEED TO BE UNDERSTOOD

In the process of mending, my need was that my husband would understand why he said i’m sorry. Every time I asked him, his response has always been, “because it doesn’t matter who was wrong or right, I don’t want us to fight.” What an awesome husband right?! Well, for me – it wasn’t enough. I didn’t want us to continue fighting about the same issues, and if only he would understand that, those issues wouldn’t continue.

Well, so I thought!

My intention wasn’t to control my husband. Rather, I was trying to get him to understand me. The more I longed for him to understand this issue, and he wasn’t getting it, the deeper my frustration was, and I began to withdrawal emotionally.

There was this heated discussion once and because I was already withdrawing, the tension grew stronger that day. Our issues don’t last all day, but on this particular day it did. We tried to talk, then the conversation heated quickly once again. The tension was lingering and this definitely wasn’t like other days. There was something deeper happening here…

My husband left to the supermarket and here I was, upset at him and the fact that we couldn’t make up as easily as we’ve done so in the past. So, I began to pray. I wanted so bad to pray and tell God to change him. But, all that could come out was “God, help me to understand him.” As I prayed that, I gently heard the Holy Spirit tell me “you’ve become weary in saying I’m sorry.”

 

Pray to change – YOU

As soon as the Holy Spirit spoke those words, I felt all my walls come down. I understood why this time, things got as bad as they did. I may not have intentionally wanted to control my husband, but I wanted to have some sort of control. Somewhere. I felt soo convicted and soo loved all at the same time. I knew I needed to worry about God changing me.

The Hebrew word for prayer is ‘Tefillah’, which means to self-evaluate. For the Jews of the Bible, prayer was not a time of asking for things but a time to examine their lives.

 

“Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139:23-24‬ ‭MSG‬‬

 

When we are intentional about living a righteous life, I can assure you that whatever is displeasing to God in our lives – the Holy Spirit will reveal those areas that need a spiritual “tune-up”.

When my need to be understood, became greater than the need for peace in my marriage, I became an open target for the enemy to create division between my husband and I. Opening up my heart to the Lord and asking Him to change me, allowed my spiritual eyes to be open and my ears attentive to what the Holy Spirit was saying. God wasn’t concerned about who was right, He was concerned about our hearts.

 

I immediately called my husband and told him I was sorry. I shared with him what the Holy Spirit had said. He apologized to me and our hearts were mended. In my act of obedience, God was able to work through both of us and bring true peace. God works best in our humility!

 

Don’t just survive, but THRIVE

Friends, even with those issues we faced, it didn’t stop us from having a good marriage. We had no desire to divorce or look for comfort elsewhere. We both love God, and continually allow God to work in us. But issues did stop us from having a THRIVING marriage. Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

If we aren’t constantly checking our hearts against Gods truth, we will be tossed around like the waves of the sea, by the lies and devises of the enemy.

 

“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].” ‭‭JOHN‬ ‭10:10‬ ‭AMP‬‬

 

Gods desire is that we would thrive in this life He’s given us. We aren’t meant to live life trying to survive, but to THRIVE in the midst of all that comes against us. The most important truth I can leave you with is that we (God’s creation) have a common enemy (satan). His mission is to bring down, men and women of God. He wants to bring division in any area he is able.

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

So, it’s imperative that we remain connected to the vine [John 15:4]. We must stand firm in who God says we are. We are sons and daughters of the Most High. We can live out successfull, abundant lives through Christ. We can be obedient and humble through the same power that gave Jesus the strength to endure the cross.

Let no one tell you otherwise!

My issues were at home and in my marriage. The enemy sought to bring division there. Your attack can be elsewhere. It can be with a fellow sister or brother. It can be with your kids. Maybe, it is with your spouse. My point is that the enemy seeks to bring division in any area in our life. DON’T LET him! Praying peace over your life. Praying that whatever is holding you back from thriving – God will give you wisdom and strength to overcome.

 

Rest in Him friend,

With love,

Rosie Hernandez

 

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

IT IS FINISHED 

“After this, Jesus, knowing that all things had already been accomplished, to fulfill the Scripture, said, “I am thirsty.” A jar full of sour wine was standing there; so they put a sponge full of the sour wine upon a branch of hyssop and brought it up to His mouth. Therefore when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished!” And He bowed His head and gave up His spirit.” ‭John‬ ‭19:28-30‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Scripture was fulfilled at this glorious moment. This man proved to be more that just a great prophet. He was more than the great teacher. He was more than the rabbi. Jesus was more, than the carpenters son.  He IS the SON of God. He IS the Savior of the world. He is the Messiah. 

As Jesus gave up His Spirit, the words He spoke, began to come alive to the apostles. The world, now received the gift Jesus promised of The Holy Spirit. There is no longer the veil that separated us from our Holy God. You see friend – though we are sinners (which separates us from God), we have been given access to enter into the place where Gods holiness rest. We have been redeemed. We have been bought with the precious blood of Jesus. God now sees us covered by the blood of Jesus – so, we are now worthy to enter the Holy place where Gods presence rest.

The book of John has always been one of my favorite books of the bible. Each time I read about Jesus dying on the cross, It always brings me to tears. The idea of a man, who left His Fathers side to come down and begin a personal relationship with us is such a great LOVE STORY. He first, calls us by name. Then He lets us know we have purpose in this life. He calls us out on our issues – anything that holds us back from drawing closer to Him.

 

“FOR THOSE WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES, AND HE SCOURGES EVERY SON WHOM HE RECEIVES.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:6‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Take the woman at the well for instance. {John 4;9} She was first of all a Samaritan (whom the Jews had no association with). Jesus goes with the desire to reveal Himself to her. There is this beautiful picture of two people, of two different societies. Jesus crosses the line of reputation, by merely speaking to her. Once He reveals who He is – He then calls her out on her sin. Was Jesus saying this to shame her? Absolutely not! Jesus (in my words) is telling her; here’s what you are doing – but even so, I love you! Let those things go, so I can teach you how to worship in spirit and truth. Now tell your friends about me. Share that I have revealed myself to you.

If you read the chapter, the samaritan woman did not get upset and run from Him. She, in fact, believed who He said He was. With what He knew about her, she would have been stoned and condemned. But instead, she experienced unconditional love. She didn’t have to hide who she was. It was spoken out right in front of her. She was left with a choice to walk away and ignore, or believe she’s been forgiven and share about Him.

 

Friend, this death that Jesus died on the cross was ALL for LOVE! A FIERCE LOVE! A love you will never experience apart from Him. His death was painful and gruesome. Yet, out of something so horrific and tragic came great blessing and honor. We are now sanctified, we are now in communion with the Father. We have been given the gift of eternal life with the Father in heaven. Satan has been defeated, and death has no victory over us.

 

As Jesus hung on that cross, there were two men being crucified. They each hung on the sides of Jesus. One to His right, and one to His left. One mocked Him, shouting “are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!” While the other rebuked him and said “do you not fear God. We suffer justly, and we deserve our deeds but this man has done nothing wrong.” He was in such a state of revelation, that in faith he tells Jesus “remember me in your kingdom!” Jesus’ powerful and hopeful reply was, “today, you will be with me in paradise”.  His promise of eternal life through His death, was being spoken over that mans life, because of His faith.

Those powerful words spoken to that man while on the cross, still speak to us today. We have the opportunity to have eternal life in paradise with our heavenly Father. If we confess Jesus as our Lord and Savior – our names are written in the book of life. We are not only promised eternal life, but we can grow in this love that God offers us. We learn more about it daily. We learn it through sufferings of this life, in miracles. We learn it in our daily highs and lows of life. If we sincerely look for Jesus through the storms of life – He WILL be found! Just as the man hung beside Jesus and received revelation of Him. So can we!

This is one of the most important times in a believers life. We get to celebrate what Jesus did on the cross. Praying for those especially that don’t know our Savior. May they come to know Jesus as their Lord. May we know Him, and live for Him!

Rest in Him friend,

With Love,

Rosie Hernandez