healing, Relationships

Broken Hallelujah

There is something so beautiful when brokenness meets praise. Where there is nothing left to hold onto, other than a broken hallelujah. 

 

“The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”

Psalms 51:17 NLT

 

I was broken-hearted. I was tired of doing things my way and never experiencing true healing, because I thought I could cover my hurt with alcohol, men, partying. Anything to keep me distracted of the pain I was feeling in my heart.

This time – I finally decided I would give God a true and honest chance. I was willing to hurt, but, open to the idea of being healed…

I finally let go of what I thought I knew about God and church and I allowed myself to learn and grow in Him and His truth.

Learning the power of worship, brought true healing and strengthened my foundation.

 

At first, to be quite honest, I didn’t know the “music” I heard at church was actually worship. All I knew was that there was something going on in my heart and I was drawn to it.

 

A Responsive Heart

 

I wanted to play the same songs that I was hearing in church. I wanted the same goose-bump feelings, I felt as these songs played at the beginning of the service.

I wanted that same peace I felt when this broken girl was at church. I felt comforted. I felt new. I felt something I couldn’t put into words unless you felt it yourself.

 

There was a time I was talking to my sister Sheri about church. Sheri was the sister in whom I saw her life change for the better, because she was going to church…

During one of our conversations about church, she was simply explaining what worship was. She told me that – “worship is what we offer unto the Lord before He speaks to us. We give our hearts to God in Praise and it prepares us for what God will speak to us through the service.”

Simply put – Worship postures our hearts for the rest of the service.

Woah!

This was something I was so unaware of – BUT, when I heard it, it was as if my heart said yes and amen. 

When we tap into the presence of God, there is a part of our soul that is awakened.

That was exactly what I was experiencing…

My life wasn’t the same after that!

My source of joy, peace and the desire to love and forgive all came from Him. I began to live from Him.

 

 

I will sing to the Lord as long as I live. I will praise my God to my last breath.

Psalms 104:33 NLT

 

I remember going on YouTube and searching for the songs I was listening to at church. The songs that were on repeat at that time were songs like ‘Savior King’ and ‘Mighty to Save’ by Hillsong.  Lyrics, that penetrated right into my heart such as…

 “We love you Lord, we worship you

You are our God, you alone are good

You asked your Son to carry this

The heavy cross, our weight of sin”

~ Saviour King 

 

“So take me as You find me

All my fears and failures

And fill my life again

I give my life to follow

Everything I believe in

And now I surrender

(I surrender)”

~ Mighty To Save

 

Revelation was taking place. I was hearing these songs about worshiping someone whom I had heard of, but hadn’t actually understood the depth of who He REALLY is — JESUS — The one whom had saved me from myself. The Savior of the world. I wanted to surrender my life to Him…

 

 

I was able to let go of reason. I let go of logic and I engaged in a supernatural experience. Where I became fully aware of the presence of God. 

I allowed my heart to align with His Spirt. Something happened and there is no other answer other than – power released through worship. The power that releases through a heart dedicated to obedience to God. A heart after Gods heart.

 

From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a refuge for me. A tower of strength against the enemy. Let me dwell in Your tent forever; Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings. Selah. 

Psalms 61:2-4 NASB

 

Once I understood that worship is what I was offering unto the Lord, I began to hear the services in a different way.

I began to grow spiritually. God put people in my life who would take time to teach me about the Bible. And, one of those people would later on become my husband. He would not only teach me about the Bible, but I actually saw him live out what he spoke.

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My husband is a worshipper! I saw him unashamedly fall on his knees in reverence to God!

Learning to worship God was the beginning:

  • I’ve learnt to forgive myself.
  • I’ve learnt to forgive others.
  • I’ve learnt to wait.
  • I’ve learnt to trust Him.
  • I’ve been comforted.
  • I’ve experienced healing in my mind and body.

Learning to worship isn’t something that happens and stays. I’ve had to push through, and fight my flesh.

I’ve had to force my hands up. I have had to offer praises that were a sacrifice of faith. Believing that God would be faithful and meet me – right where I was.

 

The other thing I feel important to mention is, through all my seasons of life – I have learnt  to stay at the feet of Jesus. Meaning, regardless of what is going on in my life (marriage, family, financial, physical issues) I don’t allow myself to withdraw from the presence of God. You will find me at the front – worshipping with praise or pain.

I believe with ALL my heart, it is where my true and purest source of power, and strength is drawn from. I constantly must drink from the well of living water.

 

My prayer is, if you haven’t experienced the presence of God, that you will go deeper with Him. Starting with how you worship at church and at home. Don’t allow circumstances to dictate how you will offer your praises. Let your praises be offered in a fully surrendered heart. I promise – YOU – WON’T – regret it. He WILL draw close to you.

 

Rest in Him friend,

With Love,

Rosie Hernandez

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

encouragement

Step Into The Unknown

It’s the 1st of February.

My, how time flies! First month of the year is already gone. This year I’ve promised myself to slow down and enjoy what’s happening around me. So much can happen in a year.

At the end of each year, I like to evaluate the year and all my progress. When I was on the mountain top, was I thanking God?! Not only thanking Him with my lips, but did my life display thanksliving. How did I handle trials of life? Was I living by faith? Could I have given more in some areas of my life?

 

I’m confident that regardless of what happened the previous year, with the right mind set, we can walk into a New Year with God-fidence (Confidence in God).

I have stepped into the New Year knowing that whatever my future holds, in all my fears, my anxiousness, all my unknowns, in all my wonders – God is with me. Though I may not know what tomorrow holds, I know who holds my tomorrow.

I’m gonna pursue Gods plans for my life. Because, I know His unfailing love is constantly pursuing me.

 

 

2017

As the year began in 2017. My husband and I were pioneering a church. We experienced so many loops in that journey. We started off with a bonfire bible study in beautiful Newport Beach, Ca. Then moved location just under a gazebo that was right in front of a bar and grill. We encountered many people. Then, we rented a small room from a Lutheran Church, where we began to have our church services. We knew that God was certainly with us. Later we moved into our home to continue having service there.

6 months into the year, we found ourselves having to make one of the hardest decisions of our lives. There was an issue that took place with the leadership that was covering The Break Ministries (our church name). We experienced betrayal and because of what took place, we prayerfully made the choice to separate from our old church. We were left with the decision to either stay and continue to build the break ministries, or join another church in our fellowship.

As we were seeking God for direction, I can still remember how many things ran through my mind.

What would people think of our choice?

Was this truly Gods direction?

Have we failed?

 

“In your heart you plan your life. But the Lord decides where your steps will take you.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16:9‬ ‭NIRV‬‬
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I’ll never forget the words someone shared with us as we sought counsel. We were afraid of feeling like we had abandoned Gods purpose in our life. He said; “the most important thing you need to worry about is how your family is doing, and get restored.”

With all that happened we weren’t ok. Trust had been broken. We needed restoration.

As we made the choice to step down and allow healing to take place – making sure our family was ok, was my husbands priority. And he did that well!

Words that had been spoken over us were slowly dissipating. The feeling of failure was trying to creep it’s way in my heart and mind.

As we began the journey in our new church, we stepped into the unknown with a heart of worship.

In my husbands words: “we go in, and let nothing hinder our worship.

“O God, we meditate on your unfailing love as we worship in your Temple.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭48:9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 

What happens now

What happens now?’ is the question that usually follows sudden change in our lives.

Whenever we experience change, we often find ourselves reacting out of fear. Questioning many things. And in my case I questioned Gods call upon our lives. Fear can leave us paralyzed and tormented in the mind with all the what if’s.

 

If I’m honest, stepping down from Pastoring a church, figuring things out, entering new territory came with insecurities. But it also came with great excitement to start fresh, with new vision, and build new relationships.

 

We began a new ministry, that involves meeting new people and having fun. We’ve come alongside others to serve wholeheartedly. And we have been entrusted with a pretty important ministry in the church. I don’t share these things to toot our own horn. None of that could’ve have been possible had we walked in the church with a sense of entitlement. With pride because of a title we had. Or even walking in defeated. We stepped into the church feeling a little vulnerable to be honest, but nonetheless we committed ourselves.

“Commit your works to the LORD [submit and trust them to Him], And your plans will succeed [if you respond to His will and guidance].”
‭‭PROVERBS‬ ‭16:3‬ ‭AMP‬‬

A friend once told me, “if you fall on your face when you’ve given God everything, well then you fell on your face FOR THE LORD!”

Friends, NOTHING we do with ALL of our heart for God, will ever go unnoticed.

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence,
You’ve never failed me yet

These lyrics ministered to both my husband and I. They were the cry of our hearts.

 

Our Pastors have challenged the church to get out what God has put inside our hearts.

There is something stirring within EVERY heart. It’s up to us, to allow God to bring us through challenging roads and unexpected issues of life, looking at complicated road maps (which look like a bunch of scribbles to me because I’m directionally challenged) and trust that He will guide us to a safe places.

I wanna leave you with these questions to consider…

Where is your commitment?

What do you seek from God?

Are we seeking God to do “big things”?

Will you do the “small” things?

What is most important about your walk with God – being safe, in a place of contentment and complacency? Or, are you willing to serve God with whatever it takes, even if you get dirty?

What you give power to, has power over you. If you give into defeat, you will walk around defeated.

If you give into pride, you will walk around prideful.

If you give into humility, you will walk in humility and God can work His best through a humble heart.

Seek your purpose. Take steps of FAITH!

 

‬‬The worst thing I believe a person can feel, is regret. Living with regret is something I refuse to carry into a New Year! I don’t wanna look back at my life and wish I had taken more chances.

Take chances. Let God walk with you in the unknown.

Rest in Him friend,

With love,

Rosie Hernandez